True Alpha Page 12

  “You must have loved her very much,” Mia said softly, searching his face for some sign of what to say or do to ease his pain.

  He laughed lightly, and it settled her heart to hear it. “Mating is something more powerful than love, Mia. It’s almost as powerful as death.” The smile faded. “The bite isn’t just a symbolic claiming of the female, a ritual binding of the two more than just their physical lovemaking. There’s an actual physical or perhaps chemical bond that occurs. I believe it’s part magic as well.”

  Mia frowned, fascinated and slightly horrified. “Is there some kind of venom in the bite?”

  He smiled again. “No, no. Although I suppose you could think of it that way. The male’s saliva carries some kind of ancient magical substance in it. It’s not unlike whatever triggers the shift from human DNA to wolf DNA in the first place. But when he claims her, his bite adds something to her blood that literally changes her DNA. She is then connected to him. Physically bound. She literally belongs with him: they are paired. Now, if she bears pups, they will be stronger, healthier, more fully wolf, than if they had been conceived without the claiming first.”

  Mia’s heart rate picked up and raced faster with every word he was saying. This was it; this was the pull to belong to him that she had been feeling all along. Only he had already claimed a mate once before.

  “Is this something you can only do once in your life?” she asked, breathless.

  He dropped his gaze. “For the females, yes. They can only be claimed once, and the bond can only be broken by the death of the male. Then she’s able to mate again, at least in theory. Most are devastated by the loss. It’s not uncommon for females to die soon after their mates.”

  Mia’s eyes were wide as he explained all of it. “And for the males?”

  He shook his head. “The bond is really one way in a sense. He bites her, not the other way around. She’s bound to him. The magic occurs inside her body. But it affects him as well. The submission becomes permanent, and it crosses over even stronger to your human form. And that works both ways. He must always protect her. She will always be his.”

  Mia frowned. “Wait… if she’s bound to him, but he’s not bound to her… does that mean he could mate with more than one female at a time?”

  Lucas gave a disgusted look and shook his head. “No decent wolf would do that.”

  Mia swallowed. She already knew not all wolves were as decent as Lucas. Hell, she hadn’t met any humans who were anywhere near as fiercely loyal and protective as he was. But regardless of that, she knew what she needed to know: that males could mate more than once. And the mating bond was severed by death. That had to mean… it was at least possible…

  He could be her mate.

  If he would have her.

  She drew in a deep breath. Even if it were technically possible, that didn’t say anything about the darkness she knew he still carried about his mate’s death.

  His mate. She understood now how much power those words held.

  Mia laid a hand on Lucas’s where it rested on his knee. “I’m so sorry, Lucas. I can imagine how hard it must have been to lose your mate.”

  He pulled his hand away and rubbed both hands over his face. “I told you, Mia. I didn’t lose her. She’s dead because of me.”

  “You can’t really mean that,” she said, pleading with him to let go of whatever ridiculous guilt he was carrying around. “You can’t blame yourself for whatever happened. It’s like you said. You were her mate. You were bound to protect her by this…” She waved her hand around, not really knowing what she was saying. “…this ancient magical bond. Whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault.”

  Lucas stood so suddenly, it nearly rocked her off the couch. He took a stride away from her, then whirled back. Anger was lighting up his face, turning it a blotchy kind of red.

  “Do you want to know how she died, Mia?” he demanded. “Is that what you want?”

  His anger struck her mute.

  But he wasn’t waiting for a response. “I let her walk straight into a trap. Why? Because I was busy.” His eyes glittered dark and hard and cruel. “Too concerned with SparkTech and proving myself to my father and scoring the next big acquisition. I was too worried about myself, so I let her go, by herself, to meet up with people I didn’t even know.” He was shouting by the end, then he turned to pace away from Mia, ending up by the windows overlooking the Bay.

  She untangled her legs from the couch and rose up to follow after him. “But you couldn’t have known—”

  “It’s my business to know, Mia.” He turned around, fisted hands locked in crossed arms over his chest. “A true alpha would have known. Would have made sure, before he let his mate walk into a coven of witches out for blood.”

  Mia stopped in her tracks. “Wait… what? Witches?”

  “There are a lot of things you don’t know about our world. Obviously,” he said bitterly. “I’m sure you’re already wishing you could go hide, go back to being a recluse again. Dragging you into our world is just one more example of how very much I am not any kind of real alpha anymore.”

  “I… I don’t understand.” Were there really witches in the world? She supposed it wasn’t that ridiculous, given that shifters were certainly real, and the whole shifting thing was definitely some kind of magic… but she had never heard of it before. He was right—there was so much she didn’t know.

  “Well, let me lay it out for you.” His voice was so cold it sent a shiver down her back. “So you’ll know exactly who you’re putting your trust in to keep you alive where other supernatural creatures are concerned.”

  “Lucas, I—”

  “Oh no,” he cut her off. “You need to hear this.”

  She held still, frozen by his words. Now that he had started, he wasn’t going to stop.

  “They were posing as a startup. One we might be interested in acquiring. This was our first meetup, but they had impeccable credentials. Then again, they would, given they were witches, and could conjure the illusion of just about anything that suit their purposes.” His voice dripped an icy hatred. “Tell me, Mia, do you know how the police obtain both the human and wolf DNA of shifters they bring into custody?”

  “I… what?” The sudden shift in topic and his angry pointed words made her feel like the floor was tipping.

  “The police bring in witches. They have a spell that forces the shift. And for that kindly assistance, the police look the other way on a lot of dark magic and witch mischief. Like wolf hunting.”

  Mia braced a hand against the window they were huddled next to. “You mean witches hunt wolves… but why?”

  “The heart of a wolf is a powerful thing, both physically and magically. Especially the heart of a mated female wolf. Even more so for the mate of an alpha. She carries the strength of them both in her heart.”

  Mia could see his eyes glass over, but he was so tightly bound, arms locked over his chest, that she didn’t dare touch him.

  “The witches lay a trap, they catch a wolf, and then they…” He swallowed back a pain she couldn’t even imagine. “They cut out her heart.”

  “Oh my god, Lucas.” Mia’s hand flew to her mouth and trembled there, tears springing to her own eyes.

  A growl rumbled inside his chest, and his words came out in angry bites. “They forced her to shift so they could have it in wolf form, where it was most powerful. By the time I found her, they were long gone. There was no way to even prove a murder had occurred.”

  Mia gasped, horrified. “Because she died in wolf form.”

  “They didn’t just take her heart, Mia. They took mine as well.” His dark eyes were filled with so much pain she could hardly look into them without sobbing herself.

  He nodded at the horror on her face. “So now you understand how deeply I failed to protect her. And why I will never, ever fail someone like that again.” He straightened and unlocked his arms. “I’ve arranged for a bodyguard to come watch over you. You’ll be much safer in hi
s hands. He’ll arrive on Monday. Until then, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

  Mia’s heart was too drenched with pain for her to speak.

  He peered into her eyes for a long moment, then said, “I will guard you, Mia. But I will never claim you, or anyone, ever again.”

  With that he brushed past her and marched to the couch. In silence, he gathered his papers and laptop and strode toward the bedrooms at the back of their suite.

  The door slammed behind him.

  Lucas didn’t leave his bedroom in their hotel suite for the entire night, but Mia heard him howling in the wee hours of the morning. He must have shifted… no human throat could make that noise. Or sound so heart-breaking. If she thought he would have let her in, she would have banged on his door, but she knew he wouldn’t.

  If he was wolf in there… she wasn’t even sure she should go in. His anger the night before had been a rake of white-hot claws across her heart, and she wasn’t sure if he would be entirely in control of his beast. The one she heard was… broken.

  So broken, she finally understood.

  His mate had been brutally murdered by witches, all while he was magically bound to protect her. He didn’t say it, but it wasn’t just a broken magical bond that grieved him: his tender love for his wife was like a soft cloud around the words he used to describe her. Now that Mia understood this mating thing—this claiming process that wasn’t just calling dibs on the last piece of pizza, but a profound emotional, chemical, and magical bond—she got why it had devastated him. And was still destroying him, even now.

  She had felt that yearning for a mate herself, the wolf inside her own skin instinctively reaching out for it—and she was only half wolf with barely any grasp of how pack life worked. But she understood why her wolf was drawn to him now. He was an alpha. Her instincts would drive her to mate with the strongest male around—that bond would give her the healthiest children—and Lucas had literally dropped into her life, saved it, and looked damn fine naked. Not to mention what he could do to her in that state… the human part of her certainly approved. But maybe… just maybe… Lucas was right.

  Maybe he wasn’t the right mate for her.

  There were other shifters in the world, and they weren’t all criminals, like she had thought before. There were even other alphas, like Lucas’s father, who were good and kind. Who saved scared college girls from their own kind in darkened alleys, then moved heaven and earth to keep protecting her. It appeared there were plenty of packs in the city… some were awful, but maybe there were other friendly ones, too. Or perhaps there was a wolf inside the senior Mr. Sparks’ pack who would be a more suitable mate for her. It was at least possible.

  Her wolf snarled at that thought, but Mia pushed her back, deeper inside her mind. What did her wolf know? She was an animal for god’s sake! Her wolfy instincts wanted to rut with the hot alpha that she knew—Mia got it, she even understood it, and her own human sexual cravings were far too happy to accommodate those instincts—but she was more than just an animal driven by lust and an innate desire to mate. She was human. And one thing she understood about humans was that when their hearts were broken, they really didn’t need rebound sex or another hot body to jump in the sack with… what they needed was a friend.

  If nothing else, she could be that for Lucas.

  Outside their hotel window, the early morning sun inched its way across Seattle. Their suite faced the Bay, so the light was still gray-blue, reflected between the shadows of the skyscrapers on the water. Mia opened the blinds to let all of the natural light in, then she thumbed through an order guide for breakfast. She was no good at cooking, so it was fortunate the hotel had room service. In fact, given the five-star accommodations Lucas had set up for her, she was sure the food would be amazing. And feeding a hurting heart was a good place to start.

  She tapped in the number for the kitchen. “Hi,” she said quietly, just in case her voice carried. Lucas’s door was still shut tight. She had changed out of her pajamas into regular clothes—just a jeans and t-shirt. She was saving Jupiter’s fancy borrowed clothes for work.

  “I’d like two orders of your supreme breakfast with waffles and orange juice, please.” She waited for them to repeat it back. “Thank you.” She set the phone back on the cool marble of the kitchenette counter.

  The soft click of a door sounded from the bedrooms.

  Lucas stood outside his door, squinting at her. His hair was extreme bed head, practically standing straight up on one side, and he was still in a t-shirt and sleep pants.

  “You ordered breakfast.” His voice was thick, like he was still waking up.

  She could imagine he probably hadn’t slept much, at least not until the howling stopped. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

  He frowned and shook his head, his bare feet padding quietly toward her. When he reached the kitchenette, he scrubbed his face with both hands then braced them on the counter. “I’m sure you didn’t get any sleep last night. Not with all the…” He waved a hand vaguely back toward his room.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said brightly. “I was watching B-grade horror movies all night. You would not believe how fake those screams can be.”

  One side of his mouth lifted, and he shook his head again.

  “Sit down,” she commanded, gesturing to the dinette table and chairs. “I’ll make you some coffee.”

  He frowned. “I can make it—”

  She cut him off with a wave, snagged the container from the elaborate coffee-making-contraption on the counter, and started filling it with water. “Sure you could. But I’m fairly certain this Keurig qualifies as heavy machinery, and I’m thinking you’re probably too sleep deprived to safely operate it. And it’s a cooking skill level that might be challenging for me, but I think I can swing it.”

  He seemed perplexed by her scurrying to grab coffee mugs and K-cups from the bounteous supply in their suite, but then he just shook his head and lumbered over to the table. It wasn’t until he let out a small groan when he sat that she saw the slices in his pajama pants and the still-healing scars underneath. Still healing scars… those must be incredibly deep, or else they would have healed already. She stumbled in her haste to look away and attend to the coffee machine. She focused on sliding the water container back into place and starting the first cup, then gripped the counter and tried to calm her thudding heart.

  He had hurt himself last night.

  Her wolf surged under her skin, a protectiveness welling up that wanted to send her back into his arms—to soothe him, kiss him, melt away the pain that drove him into such a frenzy that he would sink his own claws into his body to stop it. Only her grip on the counter kept her in place. She had to wrench her hands off the stone in order to put a second K-cup in the Keurig and start it again for another cup.

  Keeping away from him might be harder than she thought. Really hard. But he didn’t need her pawing all over him. He needed a friend. And she had to give him what he needed, not just what she wanted. That’s what a good friend did. She hadn’t had many of those, and none who understood what it meant to be a shifter, but she could do this for him. She would do it.

  And she’d keep her hands to herself in the process.

  When the second cup was done, she brought both to the table and set one in front of him, taking the seat opposite. The coffee was too hot for her, so she just blew on it and set it down.

  She wanted to catch his eye, but he was studiously staring at his mug. When he finally set it down, they both spoke at once.

  “Lucas, I—”

  “I’m sorry I—”

  They both stopped, and he finally met her gaze. His eyes were shot with red and watery.

  “You look like hell,” she said.

  “Good morning to you, too.” But he was holding back a smile.

  “I’m sorry for yesterday—”

  “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, Mia.” His voice was back to being rough.
“None of this is your fault. Or even your concern. I’m the one who should apologize for being such a—”

  “Lucas,” she said softly. His gaze was caught by hers, and she wasn’t letting go until he let her speak. “You lost your mate. Don’t apologize for being torn up about that.”

  He seemed like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t.

  Which worked well because she wasn’t done. “I can’t imagine how hard that had to be. Hell, I barely know anything about how all this shifter stuff works, much less what it’s like to have a mate. But it’s not hard to see this isn’t the right time for you to have another one. So, I just wanted to say sorry for not understanding that before. But I do now.”

  He looked away from her, shifting in his chair and pressing a fist to his mouth.

  Mia held her breath, afraid maybe she’d overdone it. Or just made him feel worse.

  “So…” she said lightly, hoping to bring some bit of levity back to all of this. “I promise not to try to jump your insanely gorgeous body anymore.” That drew him back. A smile seemed to be fighting its way onto his face. “Well, you know… unless you ask me to. Very nicely. Roses would be good.”

  He let out a laugh, but the pain under it made her wince.

  She let the humor fade out of her voice. “There is one thing I would like from you, though.”

  The haggard seriousness returned to his face like a landslide. His dark eyes studied her.

  “Other than keeping me safe, of course. I don’t want to put you and your family in any more danger.” She wrapped her hands around her coffee, trying to find just the right words.

  He waited.

  The small wrinkles at the corners of his eyes had softened, and her heart did a small skip with that observation. Lucas had a lot going on underneath his skin. Some of it seemed deep and primal, like the wolf who howled half the night. Some of it was right at his fingertips, as he showed so readily when he spent a night introducing her to a deep kind of pleasure she hadn’t known before. There was so much to him that she really wanted to know. Keeping their relationship at the just friends, no benefits level was really going to be difficult. Especially if he kept looking at her the way he was now, with an amount of infinite patience. Waiting for his chance to care for her. To figure out the one thing he could do for her. There was an incredible kindness to that… he couldn’t know the effect it had on her.